I sometimes go back and read this post after a particularly rough day (or week or month :). It’s so easy to slip down that slope of negativity when stress level is at an all-time high. You know the list I’m talking about…the one that never ends that chalk full of complaints and it lurks behind the corner of all of y’alls schools (even mine).
This post was just a reminder to myself and since my blog is my little on-line journal…I go back and read it every so often. I am so lucky to still get to work with my amazing team (no Debra’s there…that’s what I call Debbie Downers…sorry if your name is Debra #sorrynotsorry) again. This was a picture from the end of the year…pretty much sums us up.
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It’s a question I sometimes find myself asking after a particularly draining day. Why do I do this? Why do we run ourselves ragged? People say they “appreciate” all that we do, but you can’t appreciate something you have no concept of. I appreciate their appreciation but it’s a bit lost on me some days. It’s all I can do not to just throw my hands up in the air and in my best Jennifer Aniston voice shriek, “I QUIT!”. I want to take off my apron and give it to Gunther. {Friends episode…sorry if you don’t get the reference}.
I have read and heard complaint after complaint of overcrowded classrooms, new observation requirements, no support, outlandish student behavior, and unreasonable expectations from parents and administrators. They are all warranted problems and I do feel like the education system as a whole is failing. I don’t want to focus on the negative because that does nothing for me or for you.
I have to make a mental list in my head of why I do this. The positive things. I go back and think of being five. My parents bought me a real chalkboard for Christmas and my Dad even mounted it to the wall like a real classroom!
I’m not talking easel size.
Real life size.
That was an excitement that I can still remember to this day. I would sit and and play school all day long. My baby dolls and stuffed animals were my students. Sometimes my sister would even pop in until I deemed her a disruption and sent her to dention {aka…the living room}. My Gran worked the front office in the inner city schools and when they got new furniture, she inherited some of the old desks and chairs. She brought them home and created a classroom in her basement for me.There is no telling how many countless hours I spent in that basement. My sweet Gran would sit in those tiny chairs and play school with me. I think that’s why I love her more than anyone else in the world.
I tell you all of this because I have to remember that I was called to do this. Teaching is not a job, it’s a calling. Emily, another K teacher and one of my best friends, told me that and it has always stuck with me. I was called to be a teacher. It’s not a job. In college, I was confused when people didn’t know their major. I thought everyone knew. I learned quickly, I was the exception to that. Nobody knows…
This is why I do it:
- Lightbulb moments- When you feel like you actually see the lightbulb and you can almost grab it.
- When they call me “Mommy”.
- 20 five and six year olds erupting in laughter.
- It is ridiculously fun.
- Scholastic Points…seriously. I love free books.
- Their face when they read for the first time.
- The college professor who looked me in the eye and told me I was going to be an amazing teacher.
- My team. I am beyond blessed to be a part of it.
- There is a surprise every day. Enough said there.
- The grandmother of student that walked in this morning and told me how lucky her grandson was to be in my class.
I’m sure if I thought long and hard there would be more reasons. I find myself getting so frustrated and perplexed at times that I forget why I’m here. I’m doing what I’m doing because I’m supposed to.
Because I was made to do this.
I know all teachers ask themselves (at some point)…WHAT am I doing?! Nobody warned me about this. It’s because if we told you, you might change your mind. Make a decision to be the best teacher you are supposed to be in whatever situation you might be facing this year. What is your list? If you don’t have one, then maybe you should reconsider what you’re doing. Teaching is not for the faint of heart. It is for the person who is so full of heart they can’t be shaken.
I wrote with these women in mind. All of them are amazing women that are equally as wonderful teachers. Actually, Kindergarten teachers…which you all know is another level. I am blessed to be surronded by their knowledge and love for what they do every day.
